my remote is fragile, my table is fragile, my old-school nintendo entertainment system is fragile, my precious ming dynasty vase is fragile, hell, even windows is fragile [no pun intended...ok, intended].

what i am trying to say here is this: there are a lot of products out there which are just too damn fragile! [in case you hadn’t noticed.]

i want a remote that survives the first 300 impacts, my table should be strong enough to support my pet rhinoceros, my nintendo should withstand the death rays from my homemade duckhunt gun, i would like my ming vase to survive the first few bowling rounds and as for windows, it shouldn’t be alive in the first place!

but i do not possess the power to change those things. all i can do is write this down for you to read, hoping it will make a change. so read on for my bigger-than-life view on the world of product durability, product suicide and more exiting information…

products bail out around us all the time. and this is not just a random occurrence. we are talking about a coordinated attack on our belongings. either by cheap materials and manufacturing, our bad behavior towards the product or the product’s choice to end its life.

product suicide? yes, product suicide. my ipod nano makes frequent suicide attempts: it jumps out my pocket at least once every week, though remains unsuccessful to complete its task. mainly due to his bungee-cord attached to my ears. i try to reason with my products, but some of them are just not made for the job.

are we treating these products badly? is it our fault they die or try to commit suicide? maybe we should cherish the things we own, stop abusing them. when was the last time you used your phone to open a beer bottle? or used the microwave to dry your cat? or directed your failure towards your video-game controller? or only used your expensive headphones to mute your stereo? maybe the problem is with us, not with the products. but if that was the case i had nothing to discuss here, so i am putting the blame back on the products again.

what about the manufacturing of these products? why are we using cheap materials instead of the more durable stuff? i’ll gladly pay for a laptop that can be dropped time and time again. but the harsh reality is that certain companies use strategic placement of cheap components in order to make money on customer services, upgrades and sales. all in the name of profit, not consumer-happiness.

idea: what about making everything from utopium? [utopium: the #1 durable material in the world, grows on trees in any color you like, weighs 1 gram and costs 5 cents for each cubic meter and can be molded to any shape and hardened by spitting on it, patent pending.] the problem here is that everything will last more than a lifetime and there is no need for new products, only innovation. style and upgrades will be the decisive factors in buying new things. and how on earth we are going to get rid of these indestructible things once we do upgrade? blast them into outer space perhaps?

we need products to die on us. it’s the best way to create room for new products. we don’t want to remain stuck with that ugly and old tv, we want the latest and greatest. this gives the phrase “you break, you buy!” a new meaning.

and yes, sometimes you just need to shorten a product’s life-span, or aid in a little thing called “planned suicide”. our economy needs expiration dates. this way we create jobs and things for people to do. it also shows the flaws in products, creating room for improvement.

eternal life-span is an illusion, so is everlasting design.

jan van der asdonk is a contributor to studio469 in the shape of his creative spamming, manifesting itself in his somewhat distorted views and theories of the world around him. feedback, topic requests and fan mail are all very welcome at jan@studio469.com

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007 at 10:59 and is filed under Column. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.